The details of the Olympic opening ceremony have been released

Paul McCartney relaxes in field as he prepares for the opening ceremony

There will be real grass, an oak tree, and on top of this a shit load of farm yard animals will be involved. Sheep, cows, and Paul McCartney will be floating around a huge meadow in the middle of the Olympic stadium, which will play host to 80,000 people on 27th June. Danny Boyle, the guy in charge and also the guy who directed Trainspotting says that he wants it to be like "a little bit of everyone's dreams." I don't know what this means but it looks like it will be an awesome show.

One more word on Paul McCartney who is apparently closing the show. Every person in the country has seen him doing the same shit over and over again, frankly, and I appreciate he was a Beatle, I think he's a bit of a douche bag and I think a lot of people secretly agree with me. Lets have something more exciting than a man who is hanging on to the past whilst releasing sub standard singles with pretentious music videos of celebrities unexplicably doing sign language. And on top of this no one knew who the fuck he was at the Grammy awards because he is nothing like he was when he was in the Beatles. While we're at it why don't we dig up Freddy Mercury to play along side him.

Oh and by the way the three hour long show costs 27 million pounds, if your interested that is.